All I Never Needed
by Dragon'sRubyEyes
Summary: Au ish, doesn't really take place at any particular point in the show. Wally ponders his life and everything he has, the others ponder Wally. A series of 1rst person Flash centered shots.
1. Wally

**A.N: My third fic ever, but my first Justice League, please forgive any error's I may have made. Sorry if Wally's OOC, that was deliberate. **

**Summery: AU-ish, Wally ponders his life and all the good things he has. The other founding members ponder Wally. This doesn't really have a place in the continuum. **

**Disclaimer: No, but I wish I did. **

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Chapter one:

**All I Never Needed;**

**Wally's point of view.**

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I always told myself that I never needed anything, or anyone. Friends where over rated, family was a waste of time, and having sentimental attachment to something was like deliberately setting yourself up to be pushed off a cliff; unbearably stupid. That was my aphorism.

When I was younger, before my parents died, I learned the hard way that depending upon someone was a huge mistake. Margaret and Rudolph West, known to the state as my biological parents and legal guardians, cared very little for there only child, and I was left to fend for myself as soon as I could walk. I preferred it that way; a few of my scars, internal and external, are from my parents neglect, but more are from there attention.

When I was nine my parents died, and it was an entire day before I knew, another whole day before I was told _how_ they'd died; car crash. I was sent to live at Central City orphanage because my parents never even mentioned me in there will and the state decided that my Aunt and Uncle's combined income wasn't enough for the both of them and a kid. Child Services did, however, give them weekend custody and decided that I wasn't to be put up for adoption, for some reason or another, effectively keeping me in an agonizing limbo until my eighteenth birthday. Not really a part of a family, but not entirely an outsider, either.

At the orphanage I learned how to put on a mask, how to pretend to trust, how to interact well enough to make acquaintances, if not friends. I also developed a sense of humor, and discovered that comedy was often the best defense against anyone really getting to know you. I never really allowed myself to depend upon anyone there though, I understood that this place and these people where only temporary, they didn't keep me here by choice. I told myself I didn't care, that I was a rock, indifferent to those around me and not needing anything from them.

I learned how to lie to myself at the orphanage to.

I did my best to keep an emotional distance between my last living relatives and myself, but they where persistent, and my walls where pathetic. They wormed there way into my heart, taught me how to enjoy life, how to care, and planted in me a strong need to do the right thing. But as close to them as I became I was still always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when I was thirteen, five months after I became Kid Flash to Uncle Barry's Flash, it did.

My Aunt Iris was by no means a weak, defenseless person. She was fierce in a way that I can't even begin to describe, but that didn't stop her from getting sick, or wasting away, or dieing. In some ways it only made it worse.

Barry was never the same after that, he threw himself into his work at the police lab and as the Flash, but had very little time for his deceased wife's nephew, I think it was to painful for him. And I pulled back into myself, unsurprised but infinitely heartbroken at this new chapter of my life. After a while Barry was able to pull himself out of it, get back to training me, but things where never quite the same.

When I hit my fourteenth birthday I joined the Teen Titians, and made my first real friend. A boy called Robin, who everyone said was my exact opposite, but he seemed to realize that we had more in common than was first thought. His real name was Richard Grayson, and he was the adopted son of my now teammate Batman, though later he refused to acknowledge the bond. I think he was the first person that saw the darker side of me.

I stayed with the Titians for two years, until my Uncle lost his life saving the world, and I took up the mantle of the Flash. It was a burden and an honor I wasn't sure I deserved, that I'm still not sure I deserve.

Fast forward four years, I'm now a member of the greatest team of superheroes that has ever existed.

I did a good job of pretending that I trusted them right away, but inside I was still telling myself that I didn't _need_ them, that I would be fine on my own, that I didn't _care_ about them.

But they made there slow, steady way through my walls, became the family I never really had, the friends I thought I never needed. Sometimes I wonder if they know how hard it was for me to accept that, for me to accept _them_, but how could they? Only J'onn is capable of reading minds, and I know he wouldn't delve that deep without my permission unless it was an emergency. Part of me wants to tell them, but mostly I'm content with the way things stand now, and if that changes, someday? Well, then I'll tell them then.

I told my self I didn't need them, and whale I'm not really a religious person, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not grateful to whatever higher power that may exist that it chose to prove me wrong. That it gave me all I never needed, and more.

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A.N: Its crap, isn't it? Total crap. Ugh, I'm sickened by this display of complete and utter crap.**


	2. J'onn

**A.N: Thanks for the reviews; I'm glad you guys liked it. **

**Disclaimer: Do I have to? **

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Chapter 2;

**Choices made and reasons why,**

**J'onn's point of view. **

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When I first came to this planet, so different from my beloved _May' tar,_ known as Mars to the humans, I came with a purpose; a goal that I would not be moved from, and I called on them for help, as a means to an end. I do not know what compelled me to contact _them_ specifically, but in the end the goal was achieved, so what did it matter? 

However, it is an issue that my mind has returned to many times, when the Tower is all but empty and the silence is pressing in upon me, it wonders, _why them?_ To what end, I'm unsure, but I have tried to answer back, to still the ponderings that plague me in the stillness. And for the largest part I have succeeded; I have found concrete reasons for most of my choices, and have thus satisfied my mind's insistent curiosity.

Superman was an easy and obvious choice, and a good one. Clark is honest, benevolent, and mighty, he was indispensable in the fight against The Invaders. He and I also share a kinship that I would be hard pressed to find in another; both of us are the last remnants of our once proud races, a fact that probably played a large role in my contacting him.

Batman, though admittedly I did not summon him, also proved to be invaluable. His mind is subtle, analytical, and he is as determined, perhaps more so, than any other in the pursuit of justice. Bruce also understood the necessity of a contingency plan without being told and set into motion the required preparations for implementing that plan without a moment's hesitation.

I puzzled for a long time over why I chose Diana, who before then was unknown and relatively untried. Wale a gods-blessed warrior from an ancient race of warriors turned out to be an excellent choice, why did I reach across land and ocean to summon her when there where others who would have done just as well? In the end I decided that it was Wonder Woman's need that had drawn me, her desire to help and protect people, despite the laws and narrow-mindedness of her countrywomen, was like a beacon to my wandering mind.

John was also an obvious choice, a soldier in every sense of the word would, to my mind, be an asset to any campaign against The Invaders that we might make. Green Lantern understood, and still does understand, the loss of comrades in arms, knows what its like to face impossible odds, and has a strong grasp of tactics and strategy. Also there was a part of me, the part that is still a youngling, which wanted to meet a warrior of the _Illomgar Teth_, or Lantern Core, who are legends to my people. And though I wasn't disappointed, the awe I felt as a child has abated, allowing us to be, if not friends, then companions.

Hawkgirl, however, was a choice I hesitated over, for it was strange and incomprehensible to me that I would find a being whose mind I could not read, when even the minds of The Invaders where open to me. Whose intentions and loyalties I could not decipher as easily as breathing, and I must admit that it shook me. So much so, in fact, that I initially discarded Shayera as an option, it would not do for one bad choice on my part to doom the entire mission, and she was an unknown variable. But something drew me back, time and again, and I believe now that it was her fierceness, like Diana's need, that acted as a magnet for my psyche. Despite everything, I do not regret her as a choice.

Last of all, but not least, there is Wally, who even now is a conundrum to my mind. Academically, there are a few reasons why he made a good choice, he's loyal, determined, he posses powerful moral integrity, and has limitless untapped potential, but there are even more reasons why he was a terrible choice. He's impetuous, unpredictable, flippant, temperamental, childish, and he reacts by gut, not intellect. At first it seemed to me that this brash youngling would be good for nothing but to get people killed, and was therefore was not a candidate for the team I was trying to build. But, as with Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl, something continued to draw be back to Flash, a force that I cannot identify, a feeling I cannot articulate. There was just something there, immediately below the surface but beyond my reach. My instinct told me that he would be useful, and my instinct was correct.

As I have spent more time with Wally I have come to know him better, understand him further. He is indeed all of the things I thought he was, but so much more. There is a darkness within him that he hides from the others, that he was able to hide from me for a long time, until I thought to look deeper. Its awe inspiring to me that someone who carries such pain as he does can be so innocent and carefree. Some of who he allows us to see him as is a front, but a good portion, more than maybe even he realizes, is who he truly is, I wonder if, in a way, he is making up now for the child hood he didn't have then, but I honestly try not to delve to deeply into his childhood, or his motives, to do so makes me heartsick for my young friend.

I can't even begin to fathom the depths of cruelty one would have to posses in order to cause harm to your own offspring, on _May' tar_ such malice did not exist, and I can't help but wish, foolish as it is, that I could give Wally the same joyful childhood as I had, as my children had before they passed.

I still feel guilty over invading the inner sanctum of his mind, especially because I know that he doesn't believe I would do it unless necessary. I'm ashamed to say that my curiosity about the enigma that is the Flash made it seem necessary, and what I found there, buried in his memories has haunted me, a fitting punishment for so foolhardy an act. What was that myth Diana told me about? Pamdora's Box? No, that's not right; it was…**Pan**dora's Box. Wally's mind was Pandora's Box to me, and oh how I wish I could return the knowledge I now have and forget that I ever glimpsed it, but I can't. Like she in the myth, I have doomed myself to live with the consequences of my action.

But I digress; I only wished to understand the _why_ of my choices all those months ago, not delve into Flash's psyche, however fascinating it might be.

Why did I choose to compel the Flash to help, even against my better judgment? I'm not sure, but I think perhaps that part of me recognized that he would somehow become an integral part of my life, that he would become family to me.

I will leave it at that, for now, until I find a better, more sold reason for my decision to involve him. No matter what that reason may be I know that I will always count him as family.

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A.N: I liked this chapter better than the last one; it just seemed to flow better. I'm thinking about reposting the first chapter, only improved, but I'd like to know what you guys think about that Idea, because if its well liked I don't want to take it down. Anyway, tell me what you think about this one okay? **


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